It's taking me more than half an hour now to write a single word.....Instead i felt comfort from staring at a blank page... i wish i had the option to stay silent for the longest convenient time...its the confusion of not knowing which direction to look at anymore...need to address at least through words and/or actions what is a priority right now.... i don't think that i'm incapable of assessing who and what is important to me at this point in time....got the feeling that my life has been shattered into too many little yet significant pieces before my eyes...wish all of these pieces are within visible sight...from where im standing, i can only see what i can ...
Out of sight out of mind...?? i highly doubt that, im aware of all these missing pieces as they make up the person i am or at least the person i've become...reaching out is the only challenge...how can i function if a missing part of me is lying on the floor ready to get crushed or maybe swept away for good...
The problem is will I have to get down on my knees, risk getting cut over again and start looking for every missing bit myself or will I have to wait for a passing stranger to kneel down and offer to help....
I miss my once living angel...you are the only one who used to believe that i come just as i am!
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6 comments:
Mai, perhaps it's as simple as defining who you want to be, what qualities are important to you and what aren't, and understanding how you see yourself. That way you don't have to pick up the broken pieces...you can create new pieces that fit you.
Although, I think you're lovely as you are habibti.
the trick is to look in the mirror and see who you are and what you have become in different environments. what you should see are the many people who are so proud of you and have so much faith in you looking back at you. being taken out of your niche or environment that you have been accustomed to for so long is always a hard task to conform to. however, those people that have been through so many emotions and good and bad times will always be there for you no matter what. past experiences can stay where they belong in the past but you need to decide what it is that you want...is it a gamble to take those memories with you into the future and create new memories?
you are the wisest girl that i have ever met and i will continue to adore you in every aspect of life. knowing you for so long and sharing so many things with you have made me want to see life through your eyes only.
Have more faith in yourself and your judgements if you know what your doing is the right thing.
you have more than one "once living angel" but for now i can say Feryal will always be watching down and guiding you.
you have so many friends and family that care and love you. embrace them rather than closing off from the world.
i'll leave you with a quote that was sent to me in your presence... "spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organised routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure" richard ianneli.
masaalam
You're amazing the way you are Mailets.
Mommy would be very proud.
Reem and Hamdo, thanks for boosting me up with ur thoughts...love u guys and truley am missing you...
Anonymous,
i wish i could believe in half of the things you said as much as you do...but 'm half way there and inshallah will get there eventually
:-)... i guess you are right...these things are probably there i just have to look hard enough to see what perhaps everyone else does....
thanks for your kind words though...they have definitely put a smile on my phase...
I think that the comfort of a blank page is too deep with emotions that im too simple to comment...but the number of times i felt that my life shattered into pieces before my eyes are countless, the only difference is that everytime you were the kind stranger that came to help put them back together...
Nora.. i feel speachless for refering to me as the kind stranger here....
well i'd rather pour my heart out here in a more of a personal space but for now, for me i can summerize you in two simple words ..."the dream"...
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